The Bylanes of Pahadganj, Available on Kindle Now

I was not away… I was working on this story.  It is a kind of short story but I get distracted a lot.  But finally the labor reaped a sweet fruit and here it is.

 

 

The proceeding from the sales will go the NGO, Women Empowerment Society. It is an NGO working for the women and I am associated with it.

Shahid: From a Hindu’s view

I have been yearning to write this one. Especially during election but as an afterthought, I deferred because I did not want it to give a political, let alone religious angle.

But as luck would have it, this review of mine does underline some certain facts which I am sure our country can do without.

 

 

As soon as Shahid (Irony, you can read it as Shahid or martyr too) bagged 61^st National Film Award for best actor and director, people went gaga about it.

I have watched the movie earlier and after the awards, watched it once again.  The movie stars Rajkummar Rao who essays the role of real-life hero Shahid Azmi, a slain Muslim right activist.  Laced with a kind of understatement that the majority and Indian laws are against the minority, I, for the most part of film, found it okay in terms of direction, screenplay and treatment.  But not certainly at the level of a winner!

The acting by Rajkummar (Don’t know what is with the ‘mm’) is though splendid.  This can be said for every other actor too featuring in the movie. Tigmanshu Dhulia has taken it to himself in featuring itsy-bitsy roles. If it has “against-the-communal” theme, why not!

The point is law has always been a double-edged sword. It has convicted many criminals as well as innocents. Making a movie and showing the plight of Muslims, who weren’t given bails due to their terror link-ups or mere names, cannot fetch you a national award unless yes, the government treats the minority mere as a vote bank and is looking to get some goodwill out of the gesture.

Some of you might agree too that if a movie based on Hindus living in Pakistan might release today, it won’t even get a mention on Twitter TL of Bollywood’s pseudo-intellectual liberals.  Moreover, it will be branded communal too as soon as it would see the light of the day.

For the likes of Mahesh Bhatt, who get orgasm from the mere mention of some Muslim name, Shahid, indeed was a piece of art.  But for me, fellas, just another piece of work that alienate Hindus from their motherland and treat Muslims as some downtrodden and oppressed community while in reality it has prospered here than any other region.

 

 

Sunny Leone, Men and Sex

 

Have been hearing a lot about how men and “intellectuals” are opposing Sunny Leone’s latest release Ragini MMS 2 because according to them, the movie is an assault on Indian sensibilities.

Is it?

Are our Indian sensibilities so weak and sensitive that a half-witted movie can assault them anytime?

Holier-than-thou

And why do we need to prefix porn star-turned-actor before we take her name? Is it because that it tickles your deep within senses or dirty fantasies?  Or is it that it reminds you all the videos you have seen of her when everybody else was asleep in your house?

Guys believe it or not it was her profession.

Just like, I am a writer. You are an engineer. Or an MBA or good-for-nothing- son- who- watches- porn- in- a- closed- room when nobody is seeing you.

Are you sacrosanct that no evil has even crossed your mind? Have you never, ever talked / thought about a girl’s boobs or anatomy whenever you see one? Or you have never stared through her?  Have you never used maa-behen to abuse anyone despite the fact that it has nothing to do with them while being as derogatory as it refers to their private parts?

What are you pissed off about? That she takes pride in being what she did for a profession?  Or that she has the guts to take all the criticism of being a porn star in-her-face while you cannot even acknowledge the fact that you did see her videos. Just because sex / porn is such a hush-hush topic in India that everybody cherishes it but cannot be open about it?

Dear Indian men, why do you shudder or wink at the mere

name of hers? Why these double standard? Why this hypocrisy?

If you cannot get over the fact that ladies can be as comfortable in their skin as you are when digging your genitalia in public, go screw yourself.

I am not a fan of her and I slept halfway through Ragini MMS-2, found the film too boring to write a review but mark my words, she is here to stay. So, get used to her. And better have respect because even you know that half of your frustration got out because of her.

 

 

Them Cannot Take Our Ganja Away

Bob Marley ne acche karm kiye the, sab log sadhu kehne lage! 

Holi is coming. Here is my gift to all of you. Rejoice this Ganja song!

Is not this does enough talking for you? A sneak peak of Pan Nalin’s film ‘Faith Connections’. A docu-drama based on Kumbh mela and associated varied emotions.

Pan Nalin is an Indian film director and a writer of international repute. More, on him later.  I am too bhand to write. “Bangs head against keyboard and prays to legalize the marijuana.”

Queen from a Girl’s POV

Cheers. Laughter. More cheers followed by claps.

Tell me, do you really get to see such a wonderful sight in a multiplex?

Ask me, you do not.

This movie Queen, took my heart away. And I do not mind it even a bit. I felt alive through it and loved every moment of it.

If you have not watched the movie yet, go ahead. You will thank me later, I know.  If you have, I know you are going to relish the every word I have written.

**spoilers ahead**

I have read somewhere that Vikas Bahl wanted Kangana to do the Queen or else he would have shelved the project.  Now I know why. Anyone else cannot match the zeal, passion and wildness of Kangana. While other actresses are happier playing second fiddle to their daddies, here is Kangana Ranaut whiplashing their asses!

“India mein toh ladkiya dakar bhi nahi le sakti, hame allowed hi nahi hai.”

If you observe closely, this movie is an attack to our deep-rooted suppression of women. A girl whose 12 year old brother accompanies her for her safety wherever she goes and she does not feel odd about it.  A girl who does as told by her dad and fiancée.  She does not have an opinion and does not feel bad about it at all because it is natural for her. For whom Rajouri is her only world. So, when someone asks her where is she from, she says Rajouri, India.

The girl is proclaimed virgin. She is saving the best part for her fiancée – Vijay (Rajkumar Rao). I felt bad about it, but later I realized that yes, freedom is not about being sexually active but living life the way you want it.

The story shows how badly structured Indian minds are. When she is sharing room in Amsterdam with her room partners, his fiancée says, you are living in with boys? Whereas with these friends, she goes to the sex store and strip clubs but nobody, mind you nobody takes undue advantage of the girl because you know, in the Western world, if the girl is not interested, she is not. A no is a no is a no.

Vijayalaxmi (Lisa Hayden) is a single mother, a hotel staff who fucks people for money and is unapologetic about it. No rona dhona!  Another girl Rukhsar / Roxette (Name not known) sells body for money and is okay about it. She even goes on to say that she gets good benefits from government and afterall, “Paisa toh paisa hota hai!”

This is not to say that this movie encourages prostitution, heck no, this movie shows you should not judge anybody. Because simply, nobody needs your affidavit. Live your life and let others live too.

The way Kangana tries to control her tears in the auto, the way Kangana dances with vehemence when she remembered how Vijay did not let her dance in a wedding,  the way she makes faces when she saw people making out in public or when she is about to kiss the Italian restaurant owner, ahhhah!

The ending of the movie is awesome.  It is coming-of-the-age, I have moved on. She does not freak, does not say that stupid ‘you do not know what you have missed’ or ‘tumhe mujhse jyada pyar koi nahi kar sakta’! I cannot tell you how happy I felt! If only some of us could learn a lesson from it!

Amit Trivedi’s music bowls you over.  Harzaiiyan, badra bahar, Ranjhana, Gujariya and Hungama every song is so blended with the screenplay. Rajkumar Rao gives stability to the scenes he is in. Definitely, signs of a promising actor. I just wish to see him more often.  But all in all, the queen of this movie is none other than Kangana.

The story is layered. You open it peel by peel and you feel enchanted. At a moment, I was laughing so hard that I had to go out to ease my paining jaws.

Not even once, I fidgeted or felt anxious about where- the- story -is -heading. That is the best part ever.

P.S. Anurag Kashyap, I know whoring out your skills makes one commit mistakes like Hansee toh Phansee but may be you know now with movies like Queen you can make mass-movies without losing your appeal.

 

Smokin’ Hot

Anurag Kashyap is filing a petition against showing anti-smoking disclaimer in his upcoming release ‘Ugly’.

“Smoking Kills” disclaimer is mandatory to show on big screen to “spread” awareness against smoking.   Mind you, this is not the first time it is happening in India. Woody Allen cancelled the release of his film in India because he also thought that the disclaimer was a distraction for audience and would steal the key moments.

Now imagine this, you are watching this super-shit psychological thriller – ‘Ugly’. Despite two hot babes kissing each other in your left and a two year kid in your right crying on the top of his lungs for a popcorn bucket, you are engrossed in the characters. You forget that there exists another life apart from the movie and then all of a sudden, you are jolted back to reality with this popped out warning which says something about killing you.

I would want to kill myself then and there by smoking till my lungs are filled with tar and smoke. Meanwhile, I would like to award choicest of abuses to I &B ministry for spoiling a wonderful moment, for which I parted ways with my hard-earned money.  When the government does not have problem with getting revenues from tobacco industry, why the fuck it has problem with smoking?

We do not even get smoke-filled ecstasy easily on the screen, anyways.  The moments are a few and far in between.  Rarely, there are orgasmic movies such as Lunch Box, Omkara, Kahani, Dev D, Udaan and Paanch which integrate this pleasure called smoking with the art of movie making. In movies like these, smoking is the DNA of script.  The characters live smoking and I have not seen anyone dying from smoking in the movies at least.

As far as our actresses are concerned, they smoke cigarette as if they have been asked to touch poo! (Rani Mukherjee in No Body Killed Jessica, Priyanka Chopra and Kareena Kapoor in Fashion and Heroine respectively). They lack the passion, the energy and feel of smoking. So, I hate any actress / pseudo-feminists who smoke for the heck of it.

It is hard to believe that we had gems like ‘Main Zindagi Ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya’ and ‘Itna Lamba Kash Lo Yaaro’ once. Now, when I see talented filmmakers fighting for creative liberty instead of working on more cinematic gems, it is both disturbing and very shameful.

Size OOO

Not that I am a fan of Sonakshi Sinha’s work but I seriously feel bad when people make fun of her being overweight and curvaceous. (I am not dragging Vidya Balan into this post because I love that lady).

Now in Hindi film industry we can have Saif Ali Khan romancing ladies half his age.

Sharukh Khan chuma –chaating a lady 10 years younger to him and Sanjay Dutt prancing around his leading lady of the age of his daughter but a lady with full figure is not acceptable to us!

Dhoomsday or Doomsday?

Have been hearing a lot about the movie. Digital prints to combat piracy and a ticket price of Rs. 400- 500 during daytime show and Rs. 700-800 price for the night shows minus any popcorn or soft drinks! And a restraining order against the spoof of Dhoom 3. Wow, what are you making, Mr. Chopra?

So, here goes my bantering against it -is Dhoom 3 even worth the shit people are making it out to be?

The third franchise of Dhoom tries to be so kickass about it.  My two cents for all this drama!

Katrina Kaif: Lady, you cannot dance. The thing you do with your belly, waist and hands is called shaking. Dancing is not shaking. And these washboard abs are not doing some better too.

Amir Khan: What is with this constipated expression, sir?

Mr. Aishwarya Rai Bacchan: Please find some other work. You are not just the material.

Uday Chopra: I bow to you, sir. This young generation needs to learn a lot from you. Perseverance, dedication and patience.

Gangs of Wasseypur I: A Revenge Masterpiece

If the songs are like Hunter, Womaniya and Teri keh k lunga, you get how the entire movie would be like. ‘Gangs of Wasseypur – I’ is rustic charm at its candid best.  Based in Dhanbad, the movie takes you to the history of coal mines and scores to settle. This is a revenge story which goes by the golden rule of ‘revenge is the dish best served cold’ but does not show mercy.

 

‘Gangs of Wasseypur’ is a rare blend of sensuality and terror.  A man dies, and the son takes revenge.  But let me warn you, it is not your usual Bollywood movie. GoW-1 is high on style but does not compromise on the content.

With Anurag Kashyap at the helm, the movie has some tinges of ‘The Godfather’.  The rivalries are deep within; the characters live for their revenge and die for it.

The language is crude.  The performances are intense.  After Satya and Pinjar, this movie is a comeback vehicle for Manor Vajpayee who has managed to look splendid. Whether he is looking at Reema Sen lusciously or uttering acidic verbal attacks, he means business.

Tigmanshu Dhulia should start acting actively. This man is multi-talented.

The other discovery is Nawajuddin Siddiqui. His association with Kashyap goes a long way back.  He steals the limelight whenever he is in frame.  His intensity is infectious.  He makes you laugh whenever he is with his love interest. He makes you cringe when he is out killing without showing as much as a hint of emotion.

Richa Chaddha as Najma Khatoon is fearless and so is Huma Qureshi as Mohsina.

The best thing about women in this gangwar movie is that they are servile but manipulate upon feeling the heat.

There is gore, severed heads, pretty faces and lecherousness. Not recommended for faint-hearted.  Thanks Anurag Kashyap, India has its own Godfather now!

If you have the guts to digest the new age cinema like Gangs of Wasseypur- I is, go ahead, permission lene ki jarurat nahi!

P.S. No matter how much I try to find fault with the premise, acting and screenplay, I just cannot. So going with a 5 / 5 rating.